Steve: Where are we going?
Bucky: The future.
after another pretty bad and stressful work day, several things did make me feel okay.
the first was a classmate, and a group member for my Notary 1 class. didn’t quite cheer me up, but gave me some new perspective. he’s an older dude, already a lawyer, studied and worked in the US, but needs to take the class so he can become a notary here. (for you Yanks, you have to be a lawyer to be a notary. Notary is serious business here.) anyway, he and I were talking after class, before my next class, and he was a bit curious about me and my background and whatever.
he asked me what I had planned after law school. tbh I actually have only the faintest idea what I want to do with my J.D. once I get it. (I’m so positive I’m going to assume I pass law school.) I told him I’m not really into litigation, that’s for sure. and I really am not. he suggested that I could teach. he said that when we had our group meeting with the other dudes on Sunday, that I expressed myself very well and could explain the concepts very well. I was a bit startled. and asides the fact that if I want to teach law I’d have to keep studying and get an LL.M. (and good god I’m so done with studying), plus academia is a hell of a monster, the idea…doesn’t seem so bad. hell I could go the full distance and get a Ph.D. in law from Yale. hahaha god knows how with my shit GPA but anyway. teaching. hmm.
the next cool thing, which didn’t cheer me up that much either, but gave me more perspective, and perspective is important. it was the guest my second professor bought. dang he was kinda crazy, but he said a hell of a lot of things that made sense. I wish I could’ve focused a bit more, but what I grabbed was super interesting. he spoke a lot about racism, homophobia, civil and human rights, and despite him being a lawyer himself, was as uncynical as I could imagine. one of the few lawyers, professor or not, to speak of justice. the only other one in my recent memory was my Contracts and Property Law professor (same dude). I’m pretty pragmatic, but deep down…well, I mean, I’m taking a class on human trafficking and my seminar is about sexual orientation in the work place. and the dude had a cool old professor look, kinda bearded and roundish glasses.
finally, and this cheered me up…
surprise ice cream and giggles and tear wiping when I burst into tears about how much I hate my job.
anyway. the day is over. fuck you day. tomorrow, in between work and class I’m finally going to the gym. I can’t rn, I can’t hold much food down. the ice cream was actually a good idea in that respect. I need to take a deep deep deep breath, relax for a bit, drift off to sleep, and pick myself up tomorrow. I believe in me. (fwiw, no I’m not constantly wallowing in self pity about my job; I am looking for something new, been at it for a couple weekends, and I devote free time to class, friends, sleep, window shopping and sometimes even homework. but when a job sucks this much, it’s hard not to want to toss myself out a window.)
"If a female student got drunk and had her car stolen the university would call the police. If she got drunk and had her computer stolen, they would call the police. If she got drunk and had her phone stolen, they would call the police. The fact that she was drunk would not even be factored in when assessing if a crime had been committed. But if she gets drunk and has her body invaded and her humanity stolen, school administrations are perplexed about what to do."
— International Human Rights Activist Michael Simmons offered these words (via Facebook) in response to the May 3, 2014 New York Times’ “Fight Against Sex Assaults Holds Colleges to Account” article. (via scottthepilgrim)
"Please don’t become one of those people who only see love as something that has to be perfect. Don’t grow up to be such a sad adult."
— Ai Yazawa (via killrs)
me when buying something over $10: do i need this? do i need any material objects? will this matter when i face the great abyss?